Empathy 101: Toxic Projections
That feeling you get when you name and cleanly and compassionately hand someone back their distorted projections / judgements about you… and they see it, admit it, but then try and get into further justifications because their ego doesn’t like getting rumbled…as that signals the death knell of that energetic dynamic that feeds off you to sustain itself.
By projecting this trait outside of themselves and on to you, the other can avoid dropping into these messy places within themselves, they have yet to explore and instead get that ego lift at your expense.
This is especially tough, because it means the one who does this has to confront those pained places they had conveniently avoided in themselves and judged and then dumped onto you instead of doing ‘the inner work’.
I immediately noticed that imperceptible heavy feeling I was under lift straight off as I handed back this person what was theirs to work through…what a relief to see the fog lift and how incredibly liberating…we are simply not built to process other people’s pain for them.
When we take on other people’s unprocessed wounds and end up trying to synthesize them as our own…we get ill, tired and feel low and drained as we try and work through their shadow stuff…and guess what? it just won’t clear…because quite simply its not ours and its actually not our emotional body’s responsibility or role to do it.
This can be rooted in our childhood patterns where we took on the family stuff, in order to be loveable…or we were just born into this gloop and just have a tendency or imprint to merge and take these things on.
Regardless of origin, its like putting petrol in a diesel engine…
This can be entirely innocent and easily resolved with someone if you are both wanting to get conscious and work through and own your stuff.
And yet it can also be how a narcissist tries to control and feed off you by inundating you with not only their darkest pain, but a whole load of other psychic goodies intended to weaken you and deepen the effects of this dynamic so they can harness the power of your emotional suffering.
These are crucial skills to develop and spot your own blindspots.
To know your own psyche…to clear your deeper wounds, to face your hunger and where you seek out to enact unsconscious and self destrcutive dynamics with others out of conditioning is essential.
When you clear these things and become more embodied, you start to fully occupy and own your own space with the radiance of your unbounded spirit…so the tendency for others to push their unprocessed stuff into you unnoticed becomes a thing of the past…because quite simply…there is no longer any room for them to target any unaddressed codependency or hunger for filling yourself externally where you are not taking responsibility for yourself.
Each time you show up for yourself and heal these places, you close the door on that intrusive energy and those destructive patterns from entering your field, until finally, they no longer can get in and stop coming your way.