Showing up in your authentic truth, no matter how messy and no matter
how socially unacceptable, takes immense courage. Especially when the stakes
are high.
It unleashes a potent force of grace, which enables the old caked in
ancestral and karmic stuff you have carried around for aeons that isn’t really
you, to drop away, so you can start to heal and thrive as a ‘whole’ person.
As you show up in this way, an alchemy sparks in your soul. You start to
feel that wholeness, that love, that approval, that power you always sought
outside of yourself, was always accessible within you.
Until this moment, you may have mistakenly sought this ‘love, belonging
and respect’ through lovers, spiritual knowledge and grace, success or even
more vicariously through having family and lots of friends…
Very rarely has externalised seeking ever sustained us or given us the
deep and lasting nourishment we crave.
As we give ourselves permission to feel all our hidden and uncomfortable
places, without thought for what may happen next, another force enters the
fray. Suddenly what was just familiar let alone what tormented us, when held in
the eyes of presence, neutrality, compassion and non judgement starts to morph
– shedding a light that may be shocking at first as to our own part in the
unfolding of the play of our lives as protagonist.
Because, if we are willing to show up fully, in all our places, both the
good & the bad, the seemingly shiny and the doomed, we have a chance at
redemption.
As we transcend self-judgement, embracing these wanted and unwanted
places of duality, we can catch glimpses of a deeper force – that of our soul’s
brilliance, shining brightly through the facades of ‘self’ we have carefully
constructed or were thrown haphazardly upon us from the get-go.
It is here, through fleeting glimpses, we witness our true nature.
Sometimes, in the very brightest things lay our deepest attachments to false
idols. These places often protect our most vulnerable truths, keeping old
ghosts at bay that are no longer real. As we carefully unpack these ancient
heirlooms, handed down through the generations, we actually get to witness our
inherent beauty, clothed in our most delicate vulnerability.
These places within us, are so often misperceived not just as the core
wounds of rejection, abandonment, isolation, neglect, abuse and shame but also
as achievements, healer and millionaire. Because the emotional body is so
subjective, and triggers such viscerally embedded fear and love patterns, we
rarely manage to see through these false-friends that keep us chained to a
permanent sense of separation from Source.
However, in the quiet solitude of this sacred and flawed nakedness,
where we are no longer governed by our emotive and blinkered filters, THE
GATEWAY TO OUR SOUL LIGHT AWAITS.
I am reminded of the ugly duckling who emerged a swan. Such astonishing
beauty effortlessly flows when we dare to not get overly attached to fixing,
healing or changing these wounded or carefully disguised places with the power
of our will and manifesting abilities.
This is my journey. This is my path. I shine my light from here,
anchored in my body, in the mud of my sweat, grief, tears and joy. Wisdom that
comes from the earth in this way, is hard won. Like the lotus that flowers, you
too can utilise the muck that surrounds you to fertilise your eventual
blossoming and be humbled at the majesty of what was always buried under the
shit!
Arnold
Beisser’s “paradoxial theory of change” is based on an extremely simple
premise; we do what we do, until we don’t.
It’s
as simple as that…we literally keep getting the same results until we decide
to give up on our habitual ways of doing “life” and do it differently.
We
have to decide to change in order to change and until we choose to wake up and
smell the coffee and take responsibility for our own suffering, things will
remain as they are.
Therefore
no matter how much we look for a change agency outside ourselves by praying to
a deity, doing ritual, going on courses, learning cool spiritual tools, or even
seeing a therapist/healer, we will not actually change the curent situation
until we choose to look towards our own self as change agent and own our innate
power to take back control of our lives through our choices and habits.
Yet
here’s the rub; we’ve been conditioned to completely avoid the one thing
capable of change -ourselves – our culture is so loaded against us being
present and embodying our own senses, breath and moment to moment choices and
taking full command of them through facing the patterns and choices we’d not
usually see as ours to make or reclaim.
This
SIMPLE notion is the last thing our ego wants to face up to. A life of social
and religious / new age conditioning which may stem back many past lives and
generations is hard to turn round on a six pence, especially where trauma
haunts our past.
Usually
it’s not until unbearable pain, illness, disaster or ruin strike that we
are willing to face the harsh reality of our own making and give up on the
external hoopla and focus instead on our own choices and become more conscious
of the patterns that are hardwired into and run us.
For
many people, it takes getting sick beyond redemption of their present
circumstances to pull themselves out of this trance.
Once
they’ve reached this saturation point – they are ready to commit to facing
themselves and dig beneath the hypnosis of their conditioning and see just how
they have been giving away their sovereignty to outside forces and
people.
It
is only then that they are able to make changes to their lives for the better
by identifying their beliefs, attitudes and behaviours….and even digging into
the transpersonal ie the past lives and family heritage that may have led to
the subtlety of self deceit and influenced their choices.
When
we hit this point of being sick to death of our own shit and stop looking
outside ourselves to blame or seek changes…we are finally ready.
As
we start making changes from this more integrated place of ownership, a sweet
irony tends to come into play.
The
change that governs our redemption starts to take on a dimension we had only
read about in new age books!! The force of our own higher self enters our lives
and becomes activated, because we’ve finally chosen to meet the deepest
force that lives within us – TRUTH and to learn to abide by it unconditionally.
By
taking full responsibility to live with what is true and only true we coopt the
power of Grace. The process can not be forced or manipulated.
Although
it may feel as if our lives are going to shit, a sense of relief and
empowerment may accompany these shifts in spite of the discomfort we have to
endure.
This
is part of the bottoming out and cleansing process necessary to pave the way
for the fresh and the good to come in.
It
may feel as though we are not in control of our lives any more but the impulse
to do our bit and meet whatever force for change is happening, requires us to
keep embodying, breathing, taking responsibility and walking those agonising
first steps….towards what we know is TRUE beyond our accustomed choices and
conditioning.
This phenomena is beautifully portrayed in the film The Matrix where Neo’s fight with Agent Smith, reflects how change can not happen when we are playing out a child like, victimised, disempowered place of suffering…but it begins when we start to believe in ourselves, that we are the only one who can save ourselves and instigate a whole new world of exciting possibilities.
Contact me for your first laser session free in February.
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