Self Love Is An Inside Job
Seeking “love” and “being loved” by another can be a deceptive drug.
Whether in intimacy, friendships, families or even training/skills groups etc – the desire to connect and belong can be so alluring that it overrides our wisdom to know what is healthy, natural and even destructive for ourselves.
By always coming back to ourself for this ultimate love, we maintain our equilibrium through the practices of making love an inside job.
It ALWAYS starts with us first and travels out through clear agreements, boundaries and honouring oneself and another.
We can develop strong muscles to draw away from those situations which just don’t feed us or which do but at a COST and move instead towards others that reflect these inner practices of self loving.
A crisis point can arise where the core wound starts to get stimulated in this process and there is an interim period of noticing the core wound is not going to kill us and we can choose to breathe through it and bring self love in instead of our delusion of seeking love outside of ourselves.
This tendency sometimes originates from a time when we split off from our true connection to Source / Creator / Divine Love and created a separate identity or a mask to protect our fragile ego structure from a shocking event or trauma.
As we transform relationships and situations by being willing to actualise these potent and poky energies as they rise up, we start to see each situation more clearly for what it is.
We can then equip ourselves with the power of conscious choice.
We may share our vulnerability or speak our truth or set clearer boundaries and see if the other can meet us in our basic requirements and we in theirs.
This starts to become the norm after a while and fades into the background eventually as we clear past patterns and build a new momentum towards healthy relationships where old dysfunctional patterns no longer persist.
Depending on the extent of false selves, ancestral/family distortions and self deceptions that have been layered down, we can progressively burn off all these deposits by literally staying present and embracing our breath, bodies and bones.
As we fully embody and arrive in the life we are living and bring this purifying presence and conscious choice back into everything that unfolds, the dramas die down, stability forms and a new life emerges ~ usually when we least expect it!