That moment, like the lion with the thorn in its paw, when you pull an aspect of ‘Self’ out, that has besieged you since time immemorial, and you finally confront the bottom line truth contained within this bleeding wound…

In so doing, you experience those ancient and repressed feelings that accompanied the original trauma, which had never been possible to fully feel until now, in order to lessen the disintegration that would have occured had you done so…

As you face up to the destructiveness of these experiences, allowing past feelings to be ‘felt’, but not ‘blamed’, as you have sufficiciently healed and processed your victim around it, it’s as if a loving presence larger than you simply removes this thorn…drawing out all the repercussions, distortions and layers that developed and rode along with that thorny aspect of your existence which you came to know as YOU.

Both the good and the bad, have to go. These investments of ‘selfhood’ dissolving in the process, are painful and feel like DEATH.

In their wake, they leave, space, depth of presence, vulnerability and a clear and pristine sense of where you start and another begins…and your responsibility in this dance as you move forwards….and into wholeness…

As that sense of what was false that ‘ran’ you slides away…that felt like ‘home’ until before this transition, there comes a void period of not being sure what just happened.

As this wholeness sets in, it can feel very different to any type of prior disassembling. This is because it’s not based on any sort of identity or learning, more an unlearning, leading to a sense of embodied presence and aliveness that can’t be understood by the cognitive ego centric mind…YES THAT. Lions, paws and thorns. THAT IS ALL.

 

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Narcissism series: Part 1

 

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