On Embodying Change:
Arnold Beisser’s “paradoxial theory of change” is based on an extremely simple premise; we do what we do, until we don’t.
It’s as simple as that…we literally keep getting the same results until we decide to give up on our habitual ways of doing “life” and do it differently.
We have to decide to change in order to change and until we choose to wake up and smell the coffee and take responsibility for our own suffering, things will remain as they are.
Therefore no matter how much we look for a change agency outside ourselves by praying to a deity, doing ritual, going on courses, learning cool spiritual tools, or even seeing a therapist/healer, we will not actually change the curent situation until we choose to look towards our own self as change agent and own our innate power to take back control of our lives through our choices and habits.
Yet here’s the rub; we’ve been conditioned to completely avoid the one thing capable of change -ourselves – our culture is so loaded against us being present and embodying our own senses, breath and moment to moment choices and taking full command of them through facing the patterns and choices we’d not usually see as ours to make or reclaim.
This SIMPLE notion is the last thing our ego wants to face up to. A life of social and religious / new age conditioning which may stem back many past lives and generations is hard to turn round on a six pence, especially where trauma haunts our past.
Usually it’s not until unbearable pain, illness, disaster or ruin strike that we are willing to face the harsh reality of our own making and give up on the external hoopla and focus instead on our own choices and become more conscious of the patterns that are hardwired into and run us.
For many people, it takes getting sick beyond redemption of their present circumstances to pull themselves out of this trance.
Once they’ve reached this saturation point – they are ready to commit to facing themselves and dig beneath the hypnosis of their conditioning and see just how they have been giving away their sovereignty to outside forces and people.
It is only then that they are able to make changes to their lives for the better by identifying their beliefs, attitudes and behaviours….and even digging into the transpersonal ie the past lives and family heritage that may have led to the subtlety of self deceit and influenced their choices.
When we hit this point of being sick to death of our own shit and stop looking outside ourselves to blame or seek changes…we are finally ready.
As we start making changes from this more integrated place of ownership, a sweet irony tends to come into play.
The change that governs our redemption starts to take on a dimension we had only read about in new age books!! The force of our own higher self enters our lives and becomes activated, because we’ve finally chosen to meet the deepest force that lives within us – TRUTH and to learn to abide by it unconditionally.
By taking full responsibility to live with what is true and only true we coopt the power of Grace. The process can not be forced or manipulated.
Although it may feel as if our lives are going to shit, a sense of relief and empowerment may accompany these shifts in spite of the discomfort we have to endure.
This is part of the bottoming out and cleansing process necessary to pave the way for the fresh and the good to come in.
It may feel as though we are not in control of our lives any more but the impulse to do our bit and meet whatever force for change is happening, requires us to keep embodying, breathing, taking responsibility and walking those agonising first steps….towards what we know is TRUE beyond our accustomed choices and conditioning.
This phenomena is beautifully portrayed in the film The Matrix where Neo’s fight with Agent Smith, reflects how change can not happen when we are playing out a child like, victimised, disempowered place of suffering…but it begins when we start to believe in ourselves, that we are the only one who can save ourselves and instigate a whole new world of exciting possibilities.
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