Rebirthing Wholeness From The Darkness Within

Rebirthing Wholeness From The Darkness Within

Whatever you are feeling, no matter how dark or shameful ~ admit it, at least to yourself.

Like a beachball pushed under water, it has to rise up, without fail, because no matter how hard you try to submerge it, the ball will not cease rising up against your resistance until you are utterly exhausted.

If you relent, you will feel the burden of holding yourself down in the shadows of your emotional waters ~ lift.

So today, start your day with the gift of acknowledgement that whatever you are feeling is absolutely welcome.

Even if it feels like the last feeling on earth you wanted to experience.
Name this UNWANTED feeling out aloud.

I am feeling……..
I am feeling ….really shit
I am feeling…like I want to give up
I am feeling…life is hopeless
I am feeling…there’s just no point
I am feeling…empty

……..name yours here………
and then love the shit out of it.

Like waves in the ocean, feelings rise and fall.
You can be sure of this.

Sometimes waves crash spectacularly.
Sometimes they are non existent and the sea appears dead calm.

Experiencing parts of your soul as these emotional waves returning to your shores is the same. It takes time and patience because we can not control what needs to be felt and seen.

As we learn to sit with our ‘waves’. Not judging them enables us to bring ourselves back into the light and to surf the tide.

Let what is in you return. Into the breath.
Into the body. Into this present moment.

As you practice naming, witnessing and embodying your moment to moment experiences. You begin to awaken to your true experience.

Not the one you wanted to have or imagined you’d have.
To be right here right now ~ as the witnessing presence to your vulnerable innocence that may only know rejection, scorn, shame and ignominy.

This is the path of awakening.

Behind the discord and the suffering of any exprerience an eternal truth remains. No matter how dark and bleak things appear in your inner landscape.

The sun of your awareness will eventually illuminate whatever is inside you. Feelings come and go – even the most intolerable, shockingly persistent and pernicious ones are simply beach balls that have got trapped under your waters in the sticky mud.

Whatever you resist, push away or deny persists. The more you step away from what simply wants to be shown to you and welcomed back into your experience, the more it will scream at you and hurl abuse.

The more you deny its presence in you, the more it will appear as your foe in life. This aspect of you externalises and is the mirrored reflection to your inner beloved’s denial within.

Like yin and yang, victim and perpetrator, narcissist and empath, two sides of the same coin, partners in crime. Let your experiences be owned fully so that your natural outrage, grief and frustations may come back home and be held by you.

Go gently on your tender heart. Let go of the need to perceive yourself in any particular identity to keep those shameful feelings at bay. Let go of comparing yourself to or judging others for playing their part in this dance.

As the seed sheds its shell and the shoot is yet to rise from the earth, the death of one phase of ‘beingness’ awaits the birth of another. Make room for all not knowing what the hell is going on and all the feelings which accompany this ‘breaking open’.

Otherwise you will get quogmired, swamped and festooned by your judgements, biases, expectations and moral compass. Fear, contraction and blame will proliferate like a weed in your inner garden and swamp your seedlings.

It can feel very scary when all you have known and thought to be you was only the reaction to the duality of action and reaction that was beyond your awareness. Let these feelings of breaking open, of dieing and not knowing arise in you.

As parts of you break off and fall away, they become the fertile ground for The New You to seed.

Water this seed within you with your love, tears, gratitude, sweat and tenderness.

You will birth a miracle. The New You. A life you never dreamt possible will rise from within, free of old karma and baggage. Strong and sure, your shoot can now thrive and become all you always knew you could possibly be.

The Duality Of Embodied Soul Work

The Duality Of Embodied Soul Work

The Duality of Embodied Soul Work

Showing up in your authentic truth, no matter how messy and no matter how socially unacceptable, takes immense courage. Especially when the stakes are high.

It unleashes a potent force of grace, which enables the old caked in ancestral and karmic stuff you have carried around for aeons that isn’t really you, to drop away, so you can start to heal and thrive as a ‘whole’ person.

As you show up in this way, an alchemy sparks in your soul. You start to feel that wholeness, that love, that approval, that power you always sought outside of yourself, was always accessible within you.

Until this moment, you may have mistakenly sought this ‘love, belonging and respect’ through lovers, spiritual knowledge and grace, success or even more vicariously through having family and lots of friends…

Very rarely has externalised seeking ever sustained us or given us the deep and lasting nourishment we crave.

As we give ourselves permission to feel all our hidden and uncomfortable places, without thought for what may happen next, another force enters the fray. Suddenly what was just familiar let alone what tormented us, when held in the eyes of presence, neutrality, compassion and non judgement starts to morph – shedding a light that may be shocking at first as to our own part in the unfolding of the play of our lives as protagonist.

Because, if we are willing to show up fully, in all our places, both the good & the bad, the seemingly shiny and the doomed, we have a chance at redemption.

As we transcend self-judgement, embracing these wanted and unwanted places of duality, we can catch glimpses of a deeper force – that of our soul’s brilliance, shining brightly through the facades of ‘self’ we have carefully constructed or were thrown haphazardly upon us from the get-go.

It is here, through fleeting glimpses, we witness our true nature. Sometimes, in the very brightest things lay our deepest attachments to false idols. These places often protect our most vulnerable truths, keeping old ghosts at bay that are no longer real. As we carefully unpack these ancient heirlooms, handed down through the generations, we actually get to witness our inherent beauty, clothed in our most delicate vulnerability.

These places within us, are so often misperceived not just as the core wounds of rejection, abandonment, isolation, neglect, abuse and shame but also as achievements, healer and millionaire. Because the emotional body is so subjective, and triggers such viscerally embedded fear and love patterns, we rarely manage to see through these false-friends that keep us chained to a permanent sense of separation from Source.

However, in the quiet solitude of this sacred and flawed nakedness, where we are no longer governed by our emotive and blinkered filters, THE GATEWAY TO OUR SOUL LIGHT AWAITS.

I am reminded of the ugly duckling who emerged a swan. Such astonishing beauty effortlessly flows when we dare to not get overly attached to fixing, healing or changing these wounded or carefully disguised places with the power of our will and manifesting abilities.

This is my journey. This is my path. I shine my light from here, anchored in my body, in the mud of my sweat, grief, tears and joy. Wisdom that comes from the earth in this way, is hard won. Like the lotus that flowers, you too can utilise the muck that surrounds you to fertilise your eventual blossoming and be humbled at the majesty of what was always buried under the shit!